You know you've lived in Spain when...

For everyone who has spent more than a holiday in Spain and for whom some of the following are true…

  1. You think adding lemonade, fanta or even coke to red wine is perfectly acceptable. Especially at lunch time.
  2. You can't get over how early bars & clubs shut back home —surely they're shutting just as you should be going out?
  3. You aren't just surprised that the plumber/decorator has turned up on time, you're surprised he turned up at all.
  4. You've been part of a botellon.
  5. You think it's fine to comment on everyone's appearance.
  6. Not giving every new acquaintance dos besos seems so rude.
  7. You're shocked by people getting their legs out at the first hint of sun — surely they should wait until at least late June?
  8. On MSN you sometimes type 'jajaja' instead of 'hahaha'.
  9. You think the precious aceite is a vital part of every meal. And don't understand how anyone could think olive oil on toast is weird.
  10. You're amazed when TV ad breaks last less than half an hour, especially right before the end of films.
  11. You forget to say please when asking for things — you implied it in your tone of voice, right?
  12. You love the phenomenon of giving 'toques' — but hate explaining it in English
  13. You don't see sunflower seeds as a healthy snack — they're just what all the cool kids eat.
  14. You know what a pijo is and how to spot one.
  15. Every sentence you speak contains at least one of these words: bueno, coño, vale, venga, pues nada
  16. You know what resaca means. And you had one at least once a week when you lived in Spain.
  17. You know how to eat boquerones.
  18. A bull's head on the wall of a bar isn't a talking point for you, it's just a part of the decor.
  19. You eat lunch after 2pm & would never even think of having your evening meal before 9.
  20. You know that after 2pm there's no point in going shopping, you might as well just have a siesta until 5 when the shops re-open.
  21. If anyone insults your mother, they better watch out…
  22. You know how to change a bombona. And if you don't, you were either lazy or lucky enough to live somewhere nice.
  23. You're either a Los Serrano person or an Aquí no hay quien viva person.
  24. You don't accept beer that's anything less than ice-cold
  25. The fact that all the male (or female) members of a family have the same first name doesn't surprise you.
  26. The sound of mopeds in the background is the soundtrack to your life.
  27. You know that the mullet didn't just happen in the 80s. It is alive and well in Spain.
  28. You know the difference between cojones and cajones, tener calor and estar caliente, bacalao and bakalao… and maybe you learned the differences the hard way!
  29. On a Sunday morning, you have breakfast before going to bed, not after you get up.
  30. You don't see anything wrong with having a couple of beers in the morning if you feel like it.
  31. Floors in bars are an ideal dumping ground for your colillas, servilletas etc. Why use a bin?!
  32. You see clapping as an art form, not just a way to express approval.
  33. You know ensaladilla rusa has nothing to do with Russia.
  34. When you burst out laughing every time you see a Mitsubishi Pajero
  35. You have friends named Jesus, Jose Maria, Maria Jose, Angel, maybe even Inmaculada Concepcion…
  36. When you can whistle at or applaud a tia buena and you get a wink instead of the middle finger.
Jeroen Sangers @jeroensangers