For everyone who has spent more than a holiday in Spain and for whom some of the following are true…
- You think adding lemonade, fanta or even coke to red wine is perfectly acceptable. Especially at lunch time.
- You can't get over how early bars & clubs shut back home —surely they're shutting just as you should be going out?
- You aren't just surprised that the plumber/decorator has turned up on time, you're surprised he turned up at all.
- You've been part of a botellon.
- You think it's fine to comment on everyone's appearance.
- Not giving every new acquaintance dos besos seems so rude.
- You're shocked by people getting their legs out at the first hint of sun — surely they should wait until at least late June?
- On MSN you sometimes type 'jajaja' instead of 'hahaha'.
- You think the precious aceite is a vital part of every meal. And don't understand how anyone could think olive oil on toast is weird.
- You're amazed when TV ad breaks last less than half an hour, especially right before the end of films.
- You forget to say please when asking for things — you implied it in your tone of voice, right?
- You love the phenomenon of giving 'toques' — but hate explaining it in English
- You don't see sunflower seeds as a healthy snack — they're just what all the cool kids eat.
- You know what a pijo is and how to spot one.
- Every sentence you speak contains at least one of these words: bueno, coño, vale, venga, pues nada…
- You know what resaca means. And you had one at least once a week when you lived in Spain.
- You know how to eat boquerones.
- A bull's head on the wall of a bar isn't a talking point for you, it's just a part of the decor.
- You eat lunch after 2pm & would never even think of having your evening meal before 9.
- You know that after 2pm there's no point in going shopping, you might as well just have a siesta until 5 when the shops re-open.
- If anyone insults your mother, they better watch out…
- You know how to change a bombona. And if you don't, you were either lazy or lucky enough to live somewhere nice.
- You're either a Los Serrano person or an Aquí no hay quien viva person.
- You don't accept beer that's anything less than ice-cold
- The fact that all the male (or female) members of a family have the same first name doesn't surprise you.
- The sound of mopeds in the background is the soundtrack to your life.
- You know that the mullet didn't just happen in the 80s. It is alive and well in Spain.
- You know the difference between cojones and cajones, tener calor and estar caliente, bacalao and bakalao… and maybe you learned the differences the hard way!
- On a Sunday morning, you have breakfast before going to bed, not after you get up.
- You don't see anything wrong with having a couple of beers in the morning if you feel like it.
- Floors in bars are an ideal dumping ground for your colillas, servilletas etc. Why use a bin?!
- You see clapping as an art form, not just a way to express approval.
- You know ensaladilla rusa has nothing to do with Russia.
- When you burst out laughing every time you see a Mitsubishi Pajero
- You have friends named Jesus, Jose Maria, Maria Jose, Angel, maybe even Inmaculada Concepcion…
- When you can whistle at or applaud a tia buena and you get a wink instead of the middle finger.
